Being heartless to Children? Wait, sometimes we have to, moms!

“Heartless” is often a word we avoid in parenting.
“I can’t bear it, Ma’am. So I just did what he wanted.” Thus, clients sometimes argue when their child is still having tantrums.
“I tried to be firm, Ma’am, but the child was crying. I couldn’t bear it.” Sometimes parents become indecisive because they don’t have the heart.
Though the heart is also needed in good parenting. Children’s growth and development needs to be filled with love and affection. But they also need to learn to solve their own problems. This is where the need for courage. Parents must be able to refrain from immediately solving problems that cause discomfort to children so that children can learn to overcome the difficulties they face. Independence in facing these challenges will hone children’s thinking skills. He will try to find a way out of every problem. they will think hard, try and learn from past mistakes. All of these skills will develop the ability of reason to maturity, become a wise person.

Today, the development of puberty and puberty in children is sometimes not in line. The puberty process which is supported by physical development goes faster than the wise which requires rich experience processing. Many parents are more concerned with the physical growth of their children than their mental development. Children tend to be pampered with all the facilities and conveniences. The consequence is delayed cognitive development. Children need challenges to mature their thinking processes.

Initiator Friend, If at one time he and his sister both need a computer, for example, let them solve the problem. Give your child space to find ways to make both of their needs met without parental intervention. No need to rush to buy a new computer for each child. Wait a moment to see them in an uncomfortable state for the sake of a mature learning process. The heart in education is also a form of love, in shaa Allah.

Dian L Izwar
Associate Psychologist Human Initiative
Clinical Psychologist & Parenting Education Activist